Bromance

They love us little people. I bet they would let us live with them if they could. They have a lot of houses but not enough room. I just wish all the Kennedy’s would get jobs. No, not like us, they are special! You know what I meant! I am getting one of my headaches. Talking about facts will do that to me every time. Hey, I feel like an actor saying all the smart stuff I just said. Wait, I am telling my son, the one who wants to be a professional skateboarder. You should hear him laugh. Especially after I said I was smart. Being a father makes me feel good at times like this. He is calling his friends to tell them what I said. I think he must be very proud! I can even hear his sister laughing now; this is good quality family time.
I have been watching the debates. I have a headache. I cannot understand the answers so it must be that the moderator can’t ask questions. The nice lady who was supposed to win easily seems surprised. She keeps talking about his lack of experience but he keeps winning! I make believe I understand all of it when my son asks me what is going on. After I tell him he does this snorting thing and then he calls his uncle. He said he is not laughing and I believe him. He is going to be a professional skate boarder. The Republican guys are dull. They don’t want change you can tell. They want business’s to grow and they want to cut taxes. That isn’t change! We don’t know what it is, but we know what it isn’t, that is for sure! That young man from Illinois makes me feel good. Feeling good is important. Especially since we need help and he knows it. We are like children and the government is like mom and dad. See! I said that earlier about the Village, do you remember? Most of us are really not very important and never will be. Us parents know that. So we need someone to take care of us. Most of us will never be rich, it takes too much effort. Only a few can be Kennedy’s so that door is closed too. The Village leaders know we are not very smart and will never do much. We cannot be trusted with a lot of decisions or money. They really do know best. The wealthy people and big corporations only supply jobs. I kind of like the security of having things given to me. If you think about it and if all of us had the same things then all of us would feel good. I mean how much money does a person really need? You should have to give some of it to everybody else it is only fair. I like fairness. I feel better when everything is fair. I feel better about me. I don’t feel so bad about the things I have done, bad decisions or missed opportunities. Wealth can be shared and it hurts nobody.
Those people have more money than they need anyway. They would just buy a private jet or some dumb thing like that. They may buy boats and cars or whatever. All that does is cause some people on the job to have to work overtime! Well, yes those people would make more money but how does that help me? See what I mean about fairness? I have a headache, some of that made me think and I never like doing that. Please, I beg you. And Buddha, or Reverend Moon or any other god who will listen! I am sobbing as I type! I would be happy if after he is elected we never, never, never have another election! He can be our President forever! History is going to be made. I drink in every moment, every word, I watch every speech (Thank you for my Tivo and DVR!). I am on the phone constantly asking people to vote for him. I am sending him money and have missed three mortgage payments because this is more important than some dumb house payment to a greedy mortgage company! I am stealing yard signs that have the Republican guys name on it. I make fake phone calls pretending to be some well-known Republican who secretly backs my guy! I would do anything for him. Anything, is that clear?
ANYthing! To work for him or to be close to him, what is that like! The future of the world itself depended on this one moment in time. I cannot imagine an America without him! I will work for him; I would steal money to send to him if I had to! I would have lied or cheated and voted five times if I had to, that is how important this was! Oh God please, please, please don’t let him lose. That Governor from Alaska, why did they have to pick her! What if people like her more? She is young and pretty and that is not good. I did not expect this to happen, this is bad! I can’t breathe. But…he will know what to do.You know it occurred to me that he does not have much experience. He hasn’t been in the Senate very long either. But you know, that is kind of cool if you think about it. We can grow and learn together! And so what IF he makes a few mistakes? What’s the worst that can happen? Maybe we blow up an aspirin factory or some business’s close. We need to be liked again I think, don’t you? Isn’t it important that say, the French, like us again? If we are nice, like him, the terrorists won’t come. They will see him and his wife and they will know we don’t have to be bombed. We are changed; we embody hope and that is all they want too. They just want us to be nice and then they will be nice too. All we need to do is let them hear his voice and listen to his words! When he sits down and talks to them they will all hug and then everything will be okay. World peace will come to us in his shadow! No more pollution! Pure air! No more hurricanes devastating the coast. No child starving in Iowa! No home torn from the grasp of a family who could not afford the mortgage payments they took out! Homeless men and illegal immigrants walking hand in hand, unafraid of arrest! Not one more worker killed on the job because some company bought a private jet instead of a safety device that would have saved his life!
The hundreds of bridges near collapse, the highways that are seconds from being sinkholes will be fixed. No more coal billowing its smoky death into our air! No more incandescent bulbs raping our planet! No more SUV’s or Mini-vans condemning Mother Earth to a barren existence! Not another tree torn from its ancient roots! Stem cell research that will cure diseases, gleaned from an apple of all things! I repeat, for the second time, duh, it’s only an apple stupid! Each of us having what we deserve regardless of whether we work for it! Fairness! Taking money from people who have plenty and can afford it! I am so excited as Election Day grows near. America is about to change and it is about time. I don’t exactly know what is going to happen. I just know it is past due!
He danced on TV. Did you see him move? Have you seen his smile? He plays basketball! His smile is so, so, words just fail me when I think of that smile!
He has got to win!