Village Economics

I invested half of the extra mortgage money with a man named Bernie and the other half in Fannie and Freddie based on what a man named Barney said. Hey! Bernie and Barney! You can’t go wrong following investment advice from the Village leaders. They said once I got a job the payments would be really easy to make.
I think the Village business’s really liked that too. They seemed to have fun too, as there was a lot of laughing as they ran the credit cards. The Village has a lot of laughter. Everybody is having fun!
Well, with one exception. Most of them seem mad at George. We hear that a lot. George is not a nice man. He is not like Fannie and Freddie and the nice lady who told us about the Village. He is mean and does not like the Village. It scares the kids because he bombs villagers in other places. That is what it says on the Village news channels, VNN, MSVBC and The Village Times, our newspaper. They too like the lady who told us about the Village. They want her to make bad George go away!
Two other nice men the Village liked tried to make him go away but one time he cheated and stole the election from the first good man! George’s friends try to tell us other stuff. We don’t pay a lot of attention to that. We know that VNN will tell us what is happening and keep us smart villagers. I told the man at the bank this and he just laughed! Everybody in the Village has fun! When you are having fun who wants to listen to people who say, “You shouldn’t do that! Or, “You better be careful, there is a housing bubble!” That is silly! How can a bubble be a house?
VNN is right; some people just don’t like the Village! I told my family not to listen to that foolishness! On the radio are some really mean men and they say bad things about our Village leaders. They are friends of bad George! They make fun of Villagers and the lady who told us about the Village. I heard them talking bad about stem cell research. How stupid of them to make so much fuss about an apple!
They don’t even like Fannie and Freddie! How could anybody not like them? I think they may even like CEO’s! I’m not sure what that is but VNN and the Village leaders said they are bad. They (those mean radio men!) use big words and numbers that confuse my wife and me so we stopped listening. They talked about equity and it made no sense to us! They said stuff like debt to income ratio and it gave me one of those sick headaches I get from time to time! When that happens buying something makes me feel better!
The Village has lots of places that will give you credit cards. I love the Village! They want you happy and they don’t bother you with a lot of big words and numbers. They just laughed when I asked them about credit limits and debt to income ratio. So I laughed too! The Village is full of laughter! I decided to open a saving account but at the time I didn’t have the money. “No money?” said the Village bank, and just laughed. “We can loan you money to put in the saving account.”
Wow! I love the Village! My son, who wants to be a professional skate boarder, asked me if I could make money on the savings account doing that. I got a headache reading all those documents and just told him yes. When he gets paid as a professional skate boarder he will do that too! He said how smart I was and then he laughed real hard. I told you the Village was fun! He laughs every time he asks about the savings account. I told you the Village was good for them. That’s called bonding. I have nice things and now I have a savings account. When I get a job can you imagine how good things will be then?
My daughter now has a home business. I had to buy her a web cam for her PC, well after I bought a new computer. I was going to ask her what happened to the laptop but that gave me a headache.
I was watching Parental Control on my really big TV set. My son’s girlfriend makes me want to go on that show. The nice man on TV even gave us an LCD TV and a printer! He said we didn’t even need good credit! I love the Village! All we needed was a checking account. So I took money out of my savings account and opened a checking account. The people at the bank just laughed and laughed. It felt good to make them laugh! They told me not to worry. I signed a paper and just like that the money was back in my savings account. They call that a supplemental loan. I do not know what that means but I do know I bought something and have more money now than I did when I bought the computer. So if you think about it, I got the computer for free.
When I told my son, the one who wants to be a professional skate boarder, he just laughed and laughed real hard. He almost got sick. A free computer really made him happy! My daughter gets to work out of her room. She said she gets paid to just be in her room! I was wondering about what a web cam does. I thought about that awhile but I got a headache.